Hesitant touch
by Queerswimming
Summary: My heart is racing like crazy. The strong pounding is vibrating trough my body. I appreciate you being here for me. I clench my heart and try to calm myself down. I don't think I will survive the night. And here I am waiting for Haru to come back. I was already nervous since we got into the hotel room but then Haru went and said something like this. And… I can't help but feel that…


My heart is racing like crazy. The strong pounding is vibrating trough my body.  
_I appreciate you being here for me.  
_I clench my heart and try to calm myself down. I don't think I will survive the night. And here I am waiting for Haru to come back. I was already nervous since we got into the hotel room but then Haru went and said something like this. And... I can't help but feel that... this has a deeper meaning. And I really really want to talk to him and tell him that...

I shake my head and take a deep breath.  
Suddenly I hear the door and I jump up from the bed. My heart is racing even more than before.  
"Good night, Haru-chan!" I hear Nagisa's voice and a soft answer from Haru before he closes the door.  
My head feels dizzy. My whole body is stiff and I can't breath.  
And there he is.  
Our eyes meet. Haru is beautiful and I can see that he is blushing as he averts his gaze.  
And suddenly I feel calm.  
"Was that Nagisa?"  
My voice is steady. I really thought it would be shaky. He nods and clears his throat. He is nervous. "Yes, he was searching for Rei."  
I blink in surprise. "Rei? Is he okay?!"  
"Yes, we met him in the lobby."

I let out a deep drawn sigh. "Why is everybody running around so late, when we have a relay to swim tomorrow."  
Haru twitches and wraps his arms around himself. Now anyone could tell that he is blushing. His cheeks are bright red and he doesn't look me in the eyes.

_He is so adorable._

"Well, I- I guess you are right. We should go to sleep right now."  
Haru tries to get past me, but I grab his arm and turn him around. His big blue eyes are staring at me in shock and embarrassment.  
"Haru, what did you mean earlier?"  
Haru avoids my gaze and I can tell that he is trembling. I know that he is scared and, fuck, I am scared as well! But I _need_ to know this.  
"Haru, look at me."  
He bites his lips and I know that I need to make the first step. I gently take his face between my hands and turn him towards me. His eyes are teary and yet so very blue.  
"I love you."  
The words just come out of my mouth. Haru's eyes widen and I get panicked for a second.  
"I-I don't know if, if you meant anything like that b-but I just wanted you to know."  
Crap. My voice is trembling. "I-I was so very happy, that you said that and I- I- !" Haru is still staring at me without saying a word. Now I am really scared. I made a mistake after all.  
"I-I am so sorry, please forget what I jus-"  
"Makoto."  
Haru's voice is soft but still very strong. I close my mouth and look into his eyes. He blushes even more and lifts his hand to caress mine.

"I- I meant the same."

And suddenly the world stops spinning.

My mouth is dry. I can't believe this is happening.  
"R-Really?"  
Haru nods, he is embarrassed but he doesn't avert his gaze at all.  
Suddenly I feel so relieved that I start to laugh. I didn't realize that those unrequited feelings were such a great burden on me.

Haru seems to be confused. I can't help myself. He is just way too cute.  
"I am so happy."  
My whole body feels warm and suddenly all those worries and fears are taken from me.  
I lean down to place my forehead against Haru's. His skin is hot.  
My voice is just a whisper.

"Haruka."  
I can feel him shiver and he shyly lifts his face. His lips are pink and wet. I can feel his breath on my skin and all I can hear is my wild heartbeat.  
Then I close the distance between us and lay my lips on his.  
It is merely a brush but Haru shudders at the touch. His lips are warm and soft and I am already addicted to this. I caress his face and wander down to his neck. My fingers slide to his ears and I can feel him twitch. I separate our lips because I can't help but chuckle.  
Is it even possible to love someone this much?  
I can't stand to be this close without touching his lips. I want to kiss him again but this time it is Haru, who initiates the kiss. His hands lay on my chest and I let my eyes open to watch him for a short while. His touch is shy and he barely moves his lips against me.  
I think I can't hold back anymore.  
My hands wander down his body and I can feel his fingers clenching into my shirt. I grab his waist and pull him closer to me.  
Haru shudders and a surprised gasp leaves his mouth. I press in closer, lips parting and carefully I start licking into his mouth. It is wet and hot and my head feels light.  
And then a tiny moan escapes the back of his throat.  
This soft sound echos through my body, causes me to shiver. His body feels so hot against mine. All of a sudden I feel Haru's arms around my neck, pressing himself closer to me. He is returning my kiss passionately and makes me feel dizzy.  
Arousal shivers through my body and my breath is unsteady. I can't take any more than this.  
Slowly I separate myself from Haru with soft and tender kisses.  
"Haru." God, my voice is actually a liitle bit hoarse.  
Haru is a mess. His face is flushed, his breath is ragged and his eyes... _God. Those dark eyes. _

I feel a twitch in my pants and I swallow hard.  
"M-Maybe, we.. we should stop."  
My voice is still unsteady, but I can't help it.

It takes a few seconds until my words have actually reached Haru's mind. He buries his face in my chest, still pressed against my body. He blushed so deeply that even his neck turns red.  
I can barely hear his muffled voice.  
"Don't. P-Please, don't stop."

And this is the moment I lose my mind. I grab his waist and ignore the surprised noise that escapes him. I take him over to the bed and throw him onto the mattress.  
I just want to _touch _Haru. Make him shiver and moan. Haru is lying in front of me. Breathing heavy. His shirt has slipped and reveals most of his stomach. And he is staring at me. _Waiting.  
_I get on top of him, knees apart and hands next to his face. I look down on him. Is that really alright?  
And as if he could read my mind, Haru opens his mouth.  
"It's okay, Makoto." And then he takes my face in his hands and pulls me down.  
"Touch me."  
It is impossible to resist those words. Our lips meet but now this kiss is hungry, desperate. Small noises of pleasure fill the room and I let my hands glide down his sides. Haru shudders and kisses me even more passionately. I slide my hands under his shirt, fingers spread. Haru squirms under my touch and I separate our lips to caress his neck.  
I place little kisses all over his neck, I bite him softly and lick the red skin. My fingers wander over his chest and stroke one of his nipples. Haru quivers and he tries to suppress a quiet whimper.  
I sit up, grab his shirt and remove it in one fluid movement. His skin is still a little bit tanned and he is slim but I can clearly see the outlines of his abdominal muscles. I want to ravage him.  
I also take off my shirt and I look at Haru, while his gaze wanders down my body.  
I feel a little bit embarrassed. We have seen each other naked countless times already but.. this is different.

I pin Haru down, before his eyes can reach the bulge that is already showing in my pants. I start kissing his chest, while my finger linger around the waistband of his shorts. I can feel his heart beating as fast as mine.  
I try to keep some distance though. I know this is stupid but I don' want to... scare him, if he notices how turned on I already am.  
Sweet tiny noises escape Haru's mouth as I start nibbling at the sensitive skin of his belly. And now I can feel his erection rubbing against my stomach.  
"Ah~!", Haru tries to muffle his voice but I still heard that tiny groan.  
Haru's chest rises and falls quickly and he can barely open his eyes.  
"Makoto." God, this voice.He actually _moans_ my name.

My pants are too tight and the friction is unbearable.

He grabs my shoulder and pulls me up to his face. And then he kisses me again, so forceful and demanding that my head starts spinning.  
I slide my hands down his body and under his waistband. He shudders and twitches as my fingers glide under the cloth and slip them down, just enough to reach a certain place.

I want to feel him more.  
I touch his erection with the back of my hand. "Nhn~" Haru moans into our kiss and know I am really turned on. I start to fondle his dick softly and I can feel a damp spot where he is already _leaking. _Haru shudders and raises his body to press against my hand. I can feel his breath on my wet lips, when he suddenly gasps my name between two kisses.  
"Makoto"  
His voice shivers through my body and I am not able to take my hands off him anymore.

I reach inside his boxers and start stroking his throbbing cock. Haru abruptly separate our kiss, his head flies back into his neck and a loud cry escapes his red lips.  
I freeze and stare at his face. _Fuck._ I nearly came just from looking at this.  
Haru covers his mouth with both hands, his face is deep red and there are tears in his eyes.  
Seems like I am not the only one surprised by this... eager reaction.  
"M-Maybe." Haru's voice is shaky and hoarse.  
"Maybe we should stop here after all."  
Impossible.  
I snatch his hands and pin them down next to his face. I lean in and kiss him hungry, pressing my body against his. Rubbing my hard erection against his.  
Another moan escapes his lips and into our kiss, I groan and move against him. I am not able to control myself any longer.  
I don't stop kissing him but reach between us to slide down his shorts and his boxers.  
I hasty remove my clothes as well.  
Haru is overwhelmed by this situation. I press my body against his and now there is no clothing separating us. I can feel his hard length pressing against mine and a loud groan escapes my throat. Haru presses both of his hands on his mouth, but I can still hear his moans.  
I can't stop. I start moving and rub our dicks together.  
It's hot and wet and it feels too good.  
Haru whimpers though his fingers.  
"H-Haru."  
I catch his hand and place a soft kiss on his finger tips.  
"Let me hear your voice."

And with this I start increasing my speed. My body moves on its own and I am unable to stop.  
Harus wraps his arms around my neck and digs his nails into my skin. His loud moans hall through the room.  
I can't get enough off him.  
I can feel his hips tremble beneath me and suddenly he gets all tense.  
"Makoto!"

His voice rings in my ears, he arches his back and suddenly I feel something hot and wet on my stomach. My breath is heavy, my movements go numb- Haru's voice, his face, his body is enough to drive me over the edge. I release myself on his body in one violent shiver.

My body crashes on top of his and all I can hear is his loud heartbeat. We both try to catch our breath and I can feel Haru's fingers, softly dancing over the skin of my neck and my shoulders.  
I close my eyes and snuggle against him. I want to stay like this forever.  
"Umm... Makoto."

Haru's voice is quite and shy. I lift my head.  
His face is still flushed and it seems like he can't look at me.  
Really, he is way too cute.  
"Um.. maybe we should.. you know, clean up." I raise my body and see the slick white fluid all over our stomachs  
This is really kind of messy.  
Haru trembles a bit and bites his lips. I can't help but chuckle. I lean in to give him a soft peck on the lips.  
"I will take care of that."  
Haru's eyes grew wide. He is so embarrassed, adorable.

In the end Haru washed himself. My heart is still pounding violently in my chest. I can't believe this really happened. I hear the door and Haru enters the room. He is playing nervously with his shirt.  
It is really rare to see him like this and I like this cute side of him. He crawls under my blanket without saying a word. I stretch out my arm and pull him close to me. Haru curls up within my hug and buries his face in my shoulder. I let out a pleased sigh. This moment is perfect.  
My hands caress his back and I can hear his breathing.  
"You know..", I begin and feel him lifting his head a little.  
"I never thought, you were going to be this loud."  
Suddenly I feel a hard punch in my stomach and I coughed and laugh at the same time.  
"Idiot!", I can feel his hot face on my shoulder and I let out a small chuckle. I place my lips on his ear, which causes him to shudder some more.  
"I love you."

He mutters something against my chest but I can still hear his soft words.  
"Me, too." 


End file.
